Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
Obsession is for me a self loathing belief of an idea. My attachment of obsession comes from my belief of an idea of myself; quietly confident yet self-loathing, beautiful yet ugly, shy yet cocky. There are a battle of emotions going on in my head. I am obsessed with these emotions. They feed me, give me fuel and at the same time allow me to enjoy this self absorbtion as it’s a familiar place of comfort. At the same time I loath myself as I am trapped within these thoughts. I am vulnerable and need these emotions to feel alive.
Each demon needs to be fed. When I loose these emotions I feel lost, displaced and anxious. The need to give attention spurs an emotion of insecurity and anxiety. Yet the need to receive attention stirs feelings of repression and anger. The need for love stirs emotions of sadness and sorrow. The pictures of myself represent my battles regarding obsession and my emotions illustrate my battle scars.
Feelings of guilt, for example, is an emotion that some cannot hide or dispel. We are obsessed with feeling a certain way. Through my art work, I wanted to portray this through expressing emotions that control my thoughts and my existence. I wanted to display, visually, emotions of wanting: anticipation, greed, hope; Emotions of not wanting; shame, repulsion, anxiety; Emotions of having: happiness, pride, guilt; Emotions of not having: anger, sadness, distress.
The three pictures I have chosen show how emotions are a driving force of our character; it depicts our mental state. We are all a prisoner of our emotions. Emotions are our feelings. Literally we feel them in our bodies. There are cognitive aspects, but the physical sensation is what makes them really different.
My hypothesis of the root of obsession is society and the need to feel accepted. The need to check oneself and examine every fault and compliment. The feeling of narcissism in its infinite form. The abuse of obsession lie within the media and the constant cause of scrutiny. Its allows emotions to swirl and dwelve in every corner of our weak minds. In the words of Karl Marx, to paraphrase his words: Obsession is the opium of the people.